Card 7 · Femessence Series · 2021
INTUITION
Age 40 · Caucasian background · Vaginal birth: No
She said no first. Her whole body activated at the idea — aroused and sickened simultaneously — and she thought: every woman needs this. But not me. I couldn’t. Then she found a reason that went beyond herself. The oracle deck. The other women. The understanding that her yes would help someone else say yes too. And that was enough to let her cross the threshold.
“As I looked at my vulva art, I knew that I had done something radical and deeply sacred.”
When Caris first told me about her Vulva art project, my whole body became totally activated. I felt aroused and sickened at the same time. And I thought, wow, every woman needs that. But me? No, not me. I couldn’t do that.
Then she told me that she was making an oracle deck and needed more vulvas for the deck — and if I bought one, the money would support her to publish the deck. Now that it wasn’t just for me, I could allow myself to do it.
I believe the reason I was sickened was because of the shame that I carry around my vulva. Even though no one directly told me that my sex or sex organs were dirty, this was a very sneaky subconscious belief which I have had to do a lot of work around releasing. A woman’s most sacred power is in her sexuality, and so to imbue her with the belief that it is somehow dirty is one of the strongest attacks against womanhood and female power.
As I looked at my vulva art, I knew that I had done something radical and deeply sacred. My labia are asymmetrical and when I was a teenager I thought that this meant there was something wrong with me. I now know this is completely normal. And it’s beautiful. I hope that women everywhere will be able to see a variety of vulvas and be able to feel good about their vulvas.
Connect is not certainty. It is the decision to step forward before you feel ready. This woman understood that completely.
This portrait is part of the Femessence Women’s Celebration Series — a body of work by artist and arts therapist Caris Pepper honouring the sacred feminine through vulva portrait art. Each portrait in this series is becoming a card in the Femessence Vulva Portrait Oracle deck, coming 2027.
